October 20, 2013 by: Lindsey D

Perfection Sucks & Weekly Review: October 14 – 20

Spending Update:

I have some extra money this month because I got paid three times; I received a nice expense cheque; and I kept back the rent money to use for other expenses. Unfortunately, I wasn’t paying attention so I went a little crazy with some of the spending. I don’t regret all the spending though:

– I spent $215 on food and dining this week. Yes, that’s right. This week. Yikes! Clearly, this needs to get back to something more reasonable.

– I spent more on health and wellness, like physiotherapy for my back problems. I have decided that these things will help me stay mentally and physically fit and are worth the investment.

– I booked a night in Banff at a nice hotel for our wedding anniversary. It’s our first year anniversary and we wanted to celebrate by getting away. We’ll take in some of the sights, have a nice dinner, and enjoy our posh hotel. There are definitely cheaper ways of celebrating our first year and you know what? It doesn’t matter.

Life Under Construction:

Thanks for coming by readers! I took a break and am now back it – ready to kick some financial ass, sans perfection. Perfection sucks.

A couple things you might notice if you follow my numbers:

– I won’t be putting as much towards debt repayment

– I will be putting more towards health expenses – gym, physiotherapy, massage therapy, etc.

– I will be putting more towards weekend getaways and vacations because sanity is really useful in every day life

As a reader, this might be disappointing from someone running a debt blog. Shouldn’t this be about someone ready to make the sacrifice? Someone who is willing to take-no-prisoners in the fight against debt? Sell my car, ditch my Iphone, forgo all earthly pleasures and move back home to save money. That’s what it’s all about, right?

I had drunk the raspberry Flavour-Aid – Jim Jones style – and was a hardline, unquestioning, believer. I wanted to live off gruel and wear potato sacks until my debt was paid. My family was understandably less enthusiastic than I was but I knew I would convince them.

Then something changed. Suffice to say, this shit just did not work. As much as I wanted to be better than I was, I could never live up to my Financial Mother Theresa ideal.

That ideal is what sunk me. It was rigid and unforgiving.

It denied my ability to make mistakes and learn from them. My mistakes were intolerable to me. And because they were intolerable, I had to expend energy pushing them away instead of fixing them.

It cut me off from other people who might teach me, help me, or just support me. My belief was that I didn’t have anything to offer people if I wasn’t this perfect ideal. From there, it was a hop, skip and a jump to “If I have nothing to offer people, why should I expect them to offer me anything?”

I eventually realized I could not power through this five figure problem the way I might the last five minutes of a run.

Screw you perfection, there is no room for you in my life anymore.

I resolve that I will not be a victim-martyr of my financial situation anymore. I will live my life and pay off my debt at the same time. I don’t really know how to do this but I’m devoted to learning, trying, making mistakes, and trying again. I still need a budget, boundaries, and financial goals but this is only part of the picture. My whole goal is working towards a better me, not a perfect me.

Thanks for reading, I can’t wait to do this with you guys.

13 comments

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ShopMyCloset12

You have to have balance. Without balance you'll go nuts and then nothing gets done. There is nothing wrong with getting the occasional mani/pedi, going to the gym, and going on a trip. Even though I am hardcore about certain financial things there are other things that I just have to let go. As trite as it is-YOLO. Enjoy yourself Lindsey. You will find the balance that works for you and will experience the same amount of debt repayment success that anyone else would who is focused on debt repayment and doing things that align with your goals.

Matt @ Mom and Dad Money

I like the idea of letting go of perfection. Perfection isn't real. With anything this big there are ups and downs and I think the key is in sustaining success with one small change at a time. You can't fix everything all at once, and the failure in trying to do so will make it harder to fix anything. Sustainable change is what we need to shoot for, and that's a very gradual process.

Lindsey at Sense moderator

I love your thoughts on sustainable change. What can I do right now to help build the foundation I need for the next step in my plan? Thinking about failure as a part of the plan instead of as something that threatens the plan could make a difference in the way I approach the process. Thanks for your thoughts, Matt.

Erin @ Journey to Saving

Glad to see you're making health a priority. Too often that falls to the wayside for me. While appointments and treatments can be expensive, they are worth it to make sure you're running at full capacity. I like this view of yours - sometimes I feel the pressure to be completely focused on debt repayment, but then we sometimes forget to enjoy life. Happy anniversary, and hope you enjoy your little getaway!

Lindsey at Sense moderator

You're right, the appointments and treatments are expensive right now but, like you say, it will pay off in the long run. Some short tream, expensive, health interventions right now will probably save me from longer term, more expensive and long term interventions later. Little bit of financial pain avoids a lot more in the future. Cheers!

Beachbudget

Ah the perfectionism thing...I've been there. You can't expect to live a life like that...it just doesn't seem possible, or more importantly fulfilling or fun. Then life passes you by and all you've done is sit in your house with no life experienced. I still struggle with maintaining that balance!

Lindsey at Sense moderator

Yeah, I've come to realize it's paralyzing - not empowering. I do want to challenge myself and do better but I just have to sidestep the "shoulds" and "have to's" traps of perfection. It's weird though, I don't always know the difference between wanting to improve myself in a health way and just trying to be "perfect". That's okay, I'll figure it out as I go along!

ryagonnaeatthat

I can relate to this post, as I agree it can be challenging to sustain a bare bones lifestyle, especially when there are loved ones involved. I think so long as you're paying off your debt and not adding on to it, that you just have to do things your way! And I agree health should be a top priority. Happy early anniversary, I hope you two have a fantastic time. :)

Lindsey at Sense moderator

Hey Anna! Maybe that's the balance - paying off loans and taking time for ourselves without adding more stress and debt. For instance, we would like to spend more money on going away but we can do that without sacrificing our primary goals of paying down debt too much.

If we save up for weekend excursions (three or four days here and there), we could enjoy ourselves without being burdened with the idea we've stuck ourselves with six more months of loan payments (because we're on a fancy holiday). Who says I need to be in Tahiti to truly relax?

moneystepper

I think its a balancing act.

Whereas I completely agree that people shouldn't forgo happiness to scrimp and save every penny, spending $215 on food and dining in a week with outstanding credit card debt does seem like its going a little in the other direction.

I hope you can find a happy balance between the two.

Lindsey at Sense moderator

@moneystepper Absolutely, $200 is nuts by most standards! I think I'll be able to enjoy myself without sacrificing my higher goals. This week wasn't really a good example of that - the only way to go is up! Tx